I Love You, I Love You Not

So it happened again, just as I begin imagining myself living in my house and getting excited about the decorating possibilities another relator called for a showing, and just like that I have to move myself back out of the house in my mind. We have had our house up for sale for the last year. After my husband received his third layoff notice in the last three years, but was eventually just reduced to part-time, we decided that we just can't put ourselves in the position of financial crisis and potentially hurt our family, so we decided to sell our house. In order to be okay with this decision and not have an emotional melt down I began creating a mental list of all of the things I disliked about our house. I soon fell out of love with our house. I love you not.

We stopped talking about home improvement projects and decorating projects and focused instead on the house that we would love to have in the future. One month ran into two and then six months went by without any serious interest. Winter came and I have a tendency to start to get the itch to redecorate and nest around February and March. I thought, maybe the reason why we haven't sold is our paint colors. So I poured over decorating blogs and websites for ideas to neutralize some rooms but still keep some personality and slowly I began falling back in love with my house. I LOVE YOU!

 However, with the end of April we received yet another layoff notice, which would be final. Since our house is not a one-income house my love turned to instant loathing (for my house). I vowed that the house would not drag my family down. We dropped our price and became very serious with selling again. I love you NOT.

And then July came and my wonderful, talented husband was offered a new full-time position. Since there hasn't been much interest in our house, I began looking around the rooms and visualizing projects: a bright and shiny laundry/craft room, a lighter more family-friendly family room, painted white trim and kitchen cabinets…oh all of the possibilities. I love you!

Then today yet another call from a relator and once again I have to put aside all of my plans and distance myself from my house. I don't know of a place I hate more than limbo, which has become my house. I SO do not love you.